Three Secrets to Living Intentionally
For many moms in our culture, it’s a badge of honor to be stressed out and overwhelmed. If you’re not burning the candle at both ends, you’re not doing it right. You might even be called selfish for taking care of your own needs. Can any of you relate?
Personally, I even had someone say to me recently, “It must be nice to not have anything to do but work out.” Just because I choose to move my body in the morning for 30 minutes four to five days per week, I somehow have a posh life.
No, I don’t have a posh life. I have an intentional life - one that puts a priority on taking care of the vessel God has given me - so that I’m not stressed and tired and overwhelmed. So I can go forth and do the work in the world God has given me to do.
You too can have an intentional life! You can say no to the unrealistic demands our culture puts on moms.
This week, we’re talking about three secrets to living intentionally. That means you’re living according to your intentions, not driven by stress and busyness. To fight the endemic of the perpetually tired, stressed-out, and anxious mom, you will need to live intentionally, which may mean going against the grain.
Anyone can appreciate these secrets, not just moms, but I have a special place in my heart for all the moms out there who are loving and caring for husband, kids, family, clients, neighbors and community. Life is tough sometimes, but these three secrets will help you hone in on what really matters most.
Secret 1 to a More Intentional Life: Clarify Your Values
I’m not talking about the easy ones everyone always lists like family, church, etc. Those are important, but they are often used as a cop-out to say you have values. Sure, most of us value those things. BUT how do you want to show up for those things in your life? What is important to you within those categories? What kind of relationship do you want to have with God? What do you want your time and your relationship to look like with your kids? Do you value simplicity, quality time, experiences, nature? If you were showing up with your full self in these areas, how would you describe that?
Exercise: Take a few minutes, grab a pen and paper, take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to dream, to envision the life you want to live. Write it down and see what comes out. You might surprise yourself!
I’ve gotta warn you - often, living intentionally will require going against the grain! You’ll feel the powerful undertow of our hectic, frazzled culture. Don’t let yourself get dragged under. Even when you encounter resistance, keep going. I promise, an intentional life is totally worth it.
Secret 2 to a More Intentional Life: Evaluate Your Current Reality
What is your reality like right now? What words describe your life at this moment? How do what you spend your time on and your calendar compare to what you actually value? Don’t let yourself get caught up in aspirational thinking - what you plan or hope life will look like next week or next year - look at exactly where your time goes.
Exercise: It’s helpful to actually write down how many hours a day or week you spend doing each activity. I also encourage you to take out your phone, go to Settings, and see how much screen time you typically use daily.
This third secret is where the rubber really meets the road. Are you ready for it?
Secret 3 to a More Intentional Life: Set an Intention
What one place (no more!) do you feel like you want to make some specific changes in your everyday life? Don’t try to overhaul your whole life because then you’ll be stressed out about that. I’m talking about a place in your life where your reality isn’t meeting your values, and you want to inch that reality closer to your ideal. Your plan could include one or more of the following simple but profound actions:
Spend 10 minutes a day meditating
Spend 1 hour a day with my children without my phone
Do a 20-minute workout 3x per week
Remove social media apps from my phone
Spend 20 minutes face to face with my husband after the kids are in bed instead of immediately streaming a show
You’ll be surprised by how powerful a small intention can be when you fully commit and follow through.
Exercise: When you’ve got your plan, I’d love to hear about it. Email or DM me and let me know what it is. The mere act of writing it down and sharing it with someone drastically increases the likelihood that you’ll follow through. Also, feel free to share it and your “why” with a friend. Or better yet, invite them to pick a place in their own life where they are longing for a specific change, and hold each other accountable.
You can do this! I’m here to support you on the journey to a more intentional life! In fact, I’ve got a special tool coming VERY soon that will help you take a baby step toward living intentionally…. Sign up to be the first to access it!
